Never Have I Ever... Until I Did

This past school year has been full of surprises. Not necessarily in the sense of completely out-of-the-blue unexpected, but more in sense of looking back and thinking, "Oh. That happened? Huh. That never would have happened last year."

I guess it goes to show that while I'm just one short year older, I really have changed. College is different. I don't want that to be lording it over my high school friends -- as in "ha ha, college is better than high school; I'm so grown up because I've gone to college for a year" -- because, among other equally important reasons, that would show more than anything else that I'm not grown up in the slightest. And I don't pretend that I've learned everything there is to know about the world or even about college in just the past eight or nine months or so -- I still have a long way to go.

As I've mentioned before on this blog, I'm an introvert. I know "introvert" is not synonymous with "shy," but I tend to be the shy kind of introvert. I don't like putting myself out there, and I don't like talking about myself. I'm not generally spontaneous, and I like having my ducks fairly well in a row as far as planning goes.

So as I walked across campus on the Monday of finals week, I was trying to figure out just why on earth I was doing so. My friend works in our campus's audio/visual department, and she had recommended me for a job. I was heading over to A/V to ask for my friend's boss, introduce myself, and find out about applying.

I could have just emailed her about it. No face to face communication, no being put on the spot, and a computer network between us. But when I sat down to write the email, I didn't know what to say. So instead I decided to walk over and say hello, which then turned into an impromptu interview -- and a job for this fall.

A year ago, I never would have done that. Six months ago, I never would have done that. Just this semester I was terrified of one of my profs for the first three weeks of class. Before now, I would have forced myself to agonize over that email for half an hour and then finally sent it off, fingers crossed -- or maybe never sent it at all. I wouldn't even have considered walking over to A/V to introduce myself.

But, against all odds and everything I've been for the past nineteen years of my life, I did.

Sometimes, I guess I even surprise myself.